Why having Short Hair is the best!

Long hair is overrated.Period.(By long hair I mean hair which falls below the shoulders)

Having chopped off my hair to a short pixie bob recently, is one of the best things to have happened to me this year.

So here's why I think short crops are the best :

1. It saves you a lot of money.                                                                                            Honestly!! I use less shampoo,conditioner,oil etc and it does bring down my monthly expenses by a sizable margin. 
   Thanks, but no thanks!
   
                                                          
2. It saves you TIME                                                                                                                             Everyday in the mad rush to work its inevitable to spend at least a full 10 minutes in combing your hair and setting in into that perfect look for the entirety of the day.(which mostly is a simple bun or tying up the hair into a simple ponytail) If God forbid you don't have those 10 minutes or so and you have to rush to a work party then God save you. Moreover who can forget the ordeal of washing the hair (with the entire procedure of conditioning as well) which makes bath time run into a good 30 minutes.
   
3. Your hair is not a slave to being tied down                                                                                        Open hair looks better and feels better.
   
4. You end up looking many years younger than what you actually are
                          Enough said!!                                                                                         
5. There is a great sense of freedom to shorter hair
   
6. You look and feel like a total badass
   
7. You are more open to experimentation and trying out new styles                                                   When I visited this salon to chop off my locks I was asked a zillion times by the stylist if I was sure that I wanted to get rid of my length. She was of the opinion that people usually regret cutting off their hair after they see it later in a shorter size. Oh Not me! I assured her. (Actually she thought I might sue her).                                                                                            
8. The amount of hair you have on your head is directly proportional to everything that can go wrong with it.                                                                                                                                    Seriously, LESS hair, LESS drama...
   

.... And they misrepresented everything...

Its a nice pleasantly cold morning. I have freshly landed in India to chirping sounds and freshly brewed tea on the roadside stalls. Vegetable and newspaper vendors make an early appearance signalling their arrival.

A couple of days ago, I came across two pieces of news headlines. Both were in relation to men hailing from the same "religious sect". The fact that they were Indians failed to grab our attention. Why?!

Coming back to the two men who made news :
One was a man who was hailed as the "Missile Man of India"- an incredible scientist, one of the sharpest brains of India, extremely industrious ( that would actually be an understatement) - the kinds that Indian parents ask their children to follow the example of, a teacher who took pride in being one, a visionary in the truest sense of the word- a person who envisioned India as a stalwart in the area of space research and science. I can go on and on about how great he was and how there wasn't a single corrupt bone in his body and that I can say without doubt that he earned the respect of every single citizen of the country. In case you haven't figured it out yet, it was Mr.APJ Abdul Kalam.

Coming back to the second one : Honestly speaking I don't know much about this man. Maybe because my memory as a child had no place saved for politics, riots or violence. And that's exactly what this man arrested for. Maybe not as a direct perpetrator of the bloody riots that rocked Maharashtra in the early 90's which witnessed hate killings of the worst kind atleast for that era; an age when terrorism wasn't a regular word. By virtue of his association to someone as notorious as the mastermind of the attacks he definitely is a criminal. To what degree that is unknown. That definitely doesn't make him a National Hero. At least that can be said with confidence. The name of that man glorified by the Indian Media : Yakub Memon.

I have always been an ardent reader and an advocate of the Journalism of Courage that The Indian Express has always displayed time and again. But even a newspaper which I thought held a great caliber fell short of expectations when it decided to go with the intention of maximizing its numbers by shoving Mr. Kalam's funeral in a corner of the front page whereas Yakub hogged the limelight in all his glory.

I am no judge to the character of Yakub but definitely thought that a President who was respected even by another country (whose flag flew at half mast to mourn his death) deserved a HERO's farewell. He atleast deserved a full front page covering his funeral and his last journey. To top it all crowds (read: media) thronged to his burial and his last rites.

Maybe he didn't have a few scandals and scams attached to his name,
He didn't have extra marital affairs (or affairs as he was single till he died)
He didn't make flashy and fiery speeches
He advocated the importance of a simple and hardworking life

Maybe that's why his final journey wasn't as important as was that of an inmate on death row.
Maybe the incarcerated person who jeopardized thousands of lives by keeping mum on his brother's whereabouts gathered more heads in front of the TV set.

If that's what the media are going to be standing for than I guess we are better off without watching and reading the "news".
Where "news" and "viral" are associated with "fifteen minutes of trash"
It may manage to capture attention but will definitely drop the respect we have for journalists who are "making" news rather than REPORTING FACTS.

And add to that self reporters (read: celebrities on Twitter) who can't even tweet correctly the name of Mr. Kalam.


And the same continues even today where most media are chasing down Indrani Mukherjee's husbands all over the country...

Journalism! RIP...

Pothole riders

Riding a bike is an innate quality. It's difficult to forget it even when you are out of touch for several years let alone months. Moreover when you train to ride your moped in the city with the highest number of two wheelers you are bound to be a master in dodging potholes, speed breakers, stray dogs and pedestrians as well as abusing other motorists at the drop of a hat.

Placing your hands on the handle of your bike transforms you into a rider of the first degree, and your speed is definitely dictated by the music trickling into your ears through your noise cancelling headphones.

It definitely helps if you have a two wheeler in Pune. If not ,then you have to be an expert at dangling onto a crowded bus. ( And here I'm talking about normal working class people and students)

It's an art - not everyone can handle road warfare!

Being adept at finding spaces between two four wheelers also calls for a backup  of an enormous knowledge of verbal abuses.
You can be severely handicapped if you lack either of these or both. And if you dare to ride for a distance of around half an hour or more (yes, distances are measured by the time taken to complete them) then you have to muster oodles of courage to be able to brave long jams while weaving in and out of long lines of cars and trucks alike.

Honestly it's not all glum as I'm making it out to be.

Long bike rides in light showers are the ultimate mini monsoon breaks anyone can take while sipping on steaming hot cups of tea from roadside tea stalls while munching on onion and potato fritters.
Nothing can come close to the freedom of having your own seat all to yourself. No one can take it from you. Nor do you have to fall in the hassles of reserved seats on a bus.

And then there's always a possibility of having a lovely pillion rider with whom you can ride away from the maddening crowd 😃 

Types of Moviegoers

I absolutely love watching movies. Horror and suspense being my favorite and I definitely favor a good horror movie over any other movie in the world. And there is nothing like watching a scary movie ( and by scary I mean really scary) in a theater. With all the chilly effects it drills fear right inside the head like the way its supposed to be. That'd how a scary movie is supposed to be.

But no that's not how some people see it...
Some schmucks like to disturb the whole idea of film watching for a few film enthusiasts like me.And that is how I arrive at the topic of this blog post :

Types of Moviegoers :

1. The Stand up Comedians - The over eager ones who think it is their job to make each of the lines in the movie inaudible to each and everyone person who sits in their seats; that its difficult to follow the plot especially if there are lines crucial to the plot of the movie.And those lines are replaced by stinky liners which are tossed at any chance that these low lives get at a scene.
   
2. The Hoggers - The stomachs of these people are made out of infinitely elastic material which can expand ten times and then wind up ten times around the earth. And because of this ability (or disability as I would like to put it) they are stomping in and out of the movie hall a bazillion times just to get refills and when they are not doing that they are opening up big fat packets of chips and nachos which rustle up loud when you are trying to concentrate super hard because you well know that this is a crucial point in the movie. So all you hear is the crackling and crunching (loud crunching) of snacks and every other crunchy chip in the world.
   
3. The Lovebirds - They surely are the best of the lot but then there is something about two people making out in a crowded theater that makes all the cells in your body scream out "Go get a room".
   
4. The Mobile Enthusiasts - Of course how can I forget this group. Status updating, tweeting, uploading pictures for everyone to see. You name it and they do it. All of those shiny blinking screens dotting the dark background almost take away from the magic that's been woven on the big screen right in front of you. And not to forget all the calls which has everyone talking like a megaphone.
   
5. The Movie Enthusiasts - These are the ones who are actually in there with the right purpose. Who are there to watch a movie because they like watching movies. And while they are a dwindling lot they need to be saved so that they could be kept from being extinct.
   

Exercising the Indian way

Every morning I hear a loud gaggle. A foreign noise in a fairly quiet neighborhood. A residence which thrives on the loud humming of a few cars and the regular whirring of the lawn mover; this is unusual.

I move closer to the patio to see the source of that sound.It is indeed what is unheard of in this serene locale. They are a group of Indian aunties (yes,that's what they are called, though they are not in direct relation to you,whatsoever) who are out for their early morning walk after they finish bidding their spouses to work and their children to school.

Yes, though they are out for their daily walking they are also on a mission to eradicate that massive tube of belly fat clinging to their bodies in the most undesirable place of all other places ; without getting to a gym on a membership. (nothing objectionable about it).

They are not bothered about that till they find myriad ways to hide all that flab in the most flattering way(or unflattering) possible.After all saris are the perfect outfit to transform all the flesh bags to killer curves.Coming back to the point, small retinues of Indian women throng parks, jogging tracks alike to spread their mobs onto each corner of the area. They take over a large area covering up tracks meant for serious joggers not that the ladies aren't serious about their business. Only the business is not of exercise but of a never ending gossip cycle . They walk at the pace of a toddler learning to walk : except for the fact that a toddler is adorable and has no other viable option.I wonder if its even possible to talk so much when you happen to be walking briskly. And then they conquer and lay siege to that part of the track giving you the impression of a slow moving queue at the airport immigration queue. Which I bet moves faster.

"Who is that new girl?", "Why is that boy in the park only when that girl appears?" "Why are they exchanging numbers?" "Have you heard about that new woman in that posh apartment, she is a divorcee?" "Why is that girl not married yet, there must be some problem with her?"
"My son is a doctor/engineer and he works in the States, he is planning to settle there itself on a green card!!"

And hearing that the following thoughts race across my mind :
"If you are going to be chattering away consistently how will it possible to walk at a brisk pace??
How will you ever lose all that flab that you have managed to eat to amass all over the years doing the very thing you keep doing in the "walks" that are supposed to be exercise for you?"

Its typical for married ladies (a majority but not all) to behave in this manner. As a matter of fact the very girls who seem to be burgeoned with these ladies turn into their clones once they cross over to the other side. Some don't. But mostly they do. I guess that happens when one lands into shit!! Company is inevitable.. You see.. otherwise gossip isn't interesting...

Well what gossip... To know that I will have to cross over to the other side and check if the grass is actually green or probably its just ASTRO TURF!

And as of now I am just watering my grass to make it as green as I desire it to be.. (wink)

Joys of Blogging

What does one do when one gets a considerable amount of free time and super fast internet?
Well, one may be online on Facebook or Whatsapp or Instagram all the time (posting horrendous selfies)...
Or (sometimes make a wiser choice) start blogging (like me... just kidding)...

Blogging is just like maintaining a diary the only difference being you get to show the diary to the rest of the world.
Writing is like visiting a personal sanctum and weaving magic with words within the realm of your mental space.
'cause not everyone in this small world gets your humor and the sarcastic biting wit that you wield.

When I initially started blogging, I saw it as an opportunity to put to use my writing skills which had been put away for over a decade.The only writing that I had done in a long time was writing emails, text messages in thousands(maybe more) with a significant amount of speed,I may add and internet chatting. Putting my thoughts to paper required a lot of effort in terms of time, energy and dedication. It also involved sitting in a place for a considerable amount of time, which in itself is a HUGE task for me. (my attention span being around half an hour to the maximum). That's precisely why I haven't been able to complete the books that I have taken up for reading. (in over a year). My recent accomplishment coming only in the form of "Bossy Pants" by Tina Fey.( I think the credit goes to the writer)

I eagerly picked up topics which let me vent out my frustration without limiting myself to anything specific.( I know cooking and fashion blogs sell like hot cakes) But cooking and fashion trends are not my cup of tea in the least. Observation of people is the best way to while your time and pick up some serious mimicry skills, both of which I love.I passed on a couple of my blog post links to a few acquaintances and friends. I did receive a lot of flak and feedback. (whereas I felt like throwing a couple of dictionaries in a few faces as well).Some ignored it while others just passed it on without any verdict.I received a lot of suggestions, some meant well and some not so well..

It was while I was aggressively marketing my posts to everyone,that one of my friends asked me this simple question , "Why are you blogging?"

It was this simple question that set the wheels of my brain churning...
Why do I blog?
Do I blog that I can get a huge number of likes and comments on my posts?
Do I blog to get popular or to appear to be wise and opinionated?
Does writing feed my narcissistic demons?
Or do I write just because .... Well ... I can go on about the superficial reasons that continued to make their way into the sanctum of my thoughts..

It wasn't long before realization dawned on me...

Writing is an integral part of my creative soul and it makes me HAPPY...
It separates me from the humdrum of a routine... transports me to an inner self which I meet only in my writing world...
Happy in a way that is inexplicable to a non writer. How many people read it or how many people understand it , doesn't matter after all they are MY thoughts.
And there are no boundaries to the filaments of imagination.
And writing whets the appetite for that fantasy in myriad ways...

It is said that if advertisements  feature on your blog, its a good sign. But I really don't care.
'Cause I have found out, why I write- For the person I daily see in my mirror.
Its this that makes that person happy!!

And if each one of us could find out that one ............ that makes us HAPPY and CHARGED and FULFILLED then its possible that we could be seeing the world again...

With a fresh set of rose colored glasses...

Pseudointellectuals jumping on the Bandwagon

In a world where even news channels cover opinions expressed on social media as "news headlines", its difficult to escape tweeting wars and comment debates. Even if you were the kind who does not bother about signing up for virtual communications in the virtual world, you would be forced to grab a peek out of curiosity. After all curiosity kills the cat. ( I know lame joke alert!!, well, moving on)

Well I have sometimes (out of boredom or joblessness,I confess) pushed myself into such arguments needlessly to say.And the amount of illogical matter that comes out of such discussions is huge. People all over the world bring a lot of inexperience and dumbness to the table.At times they drag you down to their level and beat you with their unusual prowess at it. It sometimes makes you doubt your own sanity. Seems like everyone is out to prove their point which in fact is nothing.Zero.Zilch.

You might wonder if there was any conclusion to these arguments : Does anyone win? Or its just another gimmick adapted by big names to enhance their popularity or dislike among the masses; both of which grab equal number of eyeballs and get tongues wagging and share equal footage of importance and manage to get their fair share of the most coveted "fifteen minutes of fame"?

The latest to hit the Indian edition of the vast realm of the internet were two big pieces of news:

1) A long shot at empowerment by world fashion magazine giant : VOGUE (therein lies the irony)

Watch the famed video here

 It amazes me that a magazine which heavily relies on the scantily clad skinny bodies of "supermodels" and photo shops them even further to make them look anything but everyday women goes on a three minute long rant about "empowering women" in a way that mocks the entire male class into being maim. Just because its #mychoice. Which takes me back to a blog post I had written earlier. Read it here.

Anyway, any (and I mean any) move signifying empowerment (especially women's empowerment) is heavily lauded with ample praise for the ones featuring in it.(Read, Deepika Padukone). Or criticism. Or both.

2) The second piece were elaborate dissections of the Indian cricket team's poor performance in the semifinals against Australia 

#wewontgiveitback - annoying hash tag no.2 in recent times. (psst.. Annoying hash tag No.1 was #mychoice in case you didn't notice earlier)

This crushing defeat brought to the fore the following :

• Virat Kohli is a rebel without a cause. Enough said.

• Cricketers rely more on their arm candy more than they rely on their own skills for big games (according to Indian cricket fans)

Well that explains why Anushka Sharma watching her beau play makes bigger headlines and is attributed with the semi final defeat.

On a funny note, there is an eye opener video where the tables have turned on our beloved KRK and the critical fans alike. Watch it here. 

• With the arrival of the World Cup, everyone from a chaiwallah to a news reporter becomes an expert on the game

It helps to know that a news reporter who is notorious who invites people for them up on his show also can be an ace at his game. *slow clap*

Whatever be the cause I am sure there have been infinite debates on them.
Its difficult to judge who is right when you find yourself thrust into such a situation because, in the words of Mark Twain --

 "Never argue with a fool; the onlookers may not be able to tell the difference"

Where is India headed?

I remember writing an essay in school. India: Unity in Diversity. 

A melting pot of all religions living in harmony, making it unique and severely complicated at the same time. Complications?!! Nah!! Never heard of that while growing up.

Making friends was always based on the principle : The many the children,the better games we get to play as part of our evening play time.

No one ever questioned why we crowded in front of a Ganesh pandal?? We just stood there waiting for the tasty prasad. There were no restrictions as to who Santa was allowed to dance with as he went on distributing goodies. I don't remember missing out on a single Eid celebration in India, savoring the tasty kheer and the biryani. Almost everyone of us has lit a sparkler for Diwali, even though we complain about the noisy crackers now. I would be lying if I said that I did not enjoy seeing colored faces at Holi (though I'm not a big fan of colour).

The point that I am trying to make desperately here is : we all love the thought of a vibrant and a multi-cultural India. After all we all have grown up in such an environment, that we have learnt to make friends outside our religious circle constantly and never has once RELIGION been an issue for fights among us. ( though we did fight over who could bat first once we won the toss)

As much as we loved listening to animated sermons and singing hymns at mass in church, I remember being super excited to catch an episode of "Jai Hanuman" on Doordarshan. As each other patriotic citizen of India, I loved waking up to the tunes of  " Ae mere Vatan ke Logon" on 15th August and getting goosebumps every time Roja played on TV. I proudly proclaim my Indian citizenship every single time I fly in and out of the country. You feel all the more patriotic when you land in a nation full of white skinned people and suddenly spot one of your own. My eyes still instantly light up when an Indian smiles back at me in a heavily crowded Subway. Its a connection which will always make you feel one with all your fellow Indians no matter which part of the world we are in, we will always cheer for India, in a cricket match. 

Our ancestors saw India fall because of the ultimate weapon of hatred : DIVIDE and RULE.

Nearly 70 years after becoming independent, we are still falling prey to such tricks,albeit utilized by a few politicians for their own selfish needs. We are still separating ourselves from the thought of a vibrant superpower and regressing ourselves to being mere puppets. Waging wars over social media, blocking our friends on Facebook because they don't agree with the opinion generated by your pea sized brain and plastering supremacist views all over your wall so that someone takes notice of your views finally - if that's what its boiled down to, then its probably a good idea to take a refund on your education.

What India is, is because of ALL its citizens. Not one less, not one more. Religion is a matter of a personal choice. And its high time we set our personal choices aside and view our people just as Indians first. And lets admit it- India has much bigger problems awaiting solutions than just sticking our noses up into religious meddles.

At the end of the day, Religion is not evil, its evil people who corrupt it.

Defining BEAUTY

"Beauty lies in the eyes of the Beholder"     - Plato

Its a rare occasion that a Sunday mass sermon does not put me off to sleep actually this one made me straighten up and take notice, well, take real good notice.Because this one I bet we all have been prey to at some point or the other. The pastor reminiscing old memories shared a beautiful incident from the pages of his life. And drove home the message Loud and Clear.

And it really set me thinking. "How do we define BEAUTY?"

The answer is simple and almost the same for all of us. We pick up a magazine and browse through the pages of super skinny beings(there's a name for them) called Supermodels. Longingly look at the bones jutting out the rib cages and the skinny frames,we intentionally (or unintentionally) wish that we had bodies like these, we looked flawless like them and maybe just did nothing than act like hangers for unwearable pieces of cloth stitched together.Almost every teenager dreams of having a body like that , idolizing them in every possible way.

We take pride in being compared to a superstar virtually flushing out our own individuality down the drain. We aspire to be like the exact copy of someone hardly realising that in doing so we are hugely compromising the most important part of ourselves i.e. ME. 

Our urge to be someone is manifested in so many different ways that we yearn to be someone else at the cost of our own ME.
Maybe its a sibling trying to be like his/her successful family/parent....

Maybe its a friend vying to be just as popular as his/her best friend....

Or it maybe a wife trying to desperately fit into the mould of being a worthy spouse..

How often are we shrouded with the thoughts of being compared to another?

With the thought that we may not match up to the success of someone else? so much so to the point of loathing....

A billion times....

How many times are you forced to accept "fair and lovely skin" as a gradient of beauty?
When will we stop looking at ourselves with disdain just because we don't own a thick mane,or our curls are frowned upon?
When will "awkwardness" and "confidence" stop being compartmentalized ?
As long as "photo shopped" beauties make their way into our hearts,heads and homes, they will continue making their presence felt.... (noticeably!!)
To be cast into a mould to appear and look beautiful according to the way society judges us ...
As long as we allow others to stop us from seeing the BEAUTY within us, we will never be able to appreciate the BEAUTiFUL GIRL which resides within each of us.(affirmatively)

  And every time you think of being LIKE someone else, let Bruno Mars remind you that....

..... JUST THE WAY YOU ARE....

Be BEAUTIFUL. Be YOU.

An Indian's guide to living in America

Follow the following guidelines only if you are Indian and living in America on a work permit:

(Tourists do what you want to do,as long as you don't murder anyone; in case of which you will earn a one way ticket back to Motherland all free of cost)

1. The spices you find in the USA are not as spicy as you find in India.(Patel Brothers the grocery store all Indians flock to in times of the masala crisis)
   
2. If you are living in NYC or LA you can get off with a lack of street etiquette but not in Southern countries;its still trendy to greet someone you meet on the road.
   
3. If you are vegetarian, then be prepared to accept eggs as a part of vegetarian diet or stuff yourself with pasta and salad as your sole options.
4. Learning to cook a few basic dishes won't kill you.( For those who can't YouTube and Pinterest are always there for you)
   
5. Be ready to spend your income on taxes ( yes, everything is taxed;heavily)
6. For any small purchase be prepared to stand in long queues in Walmart.(And the good news is Walmart has only three cash registers out of 25 at any given point of time)
7. Be prepared to walk,talk,drink and eat all at the same time i.e. Morning time. (Dunkin' Donuts/Starbucks your morning saviour unless you can whip up a power packed nutrition punch of scrambled eggs and toast, just like that!!)
   
8. Internet speeds are fast enough for watching movies online. ( and there being no dearth of pirated movie sites you can catch up on the latest flicks- Hollywood and Bollywood alike)
9. If you are in a relationship with someone in India, get ready to give it up or make up with sleepless nights.
   
10. Lastly,the most important one- Rewrite your own rules.